How to Say "No" to Candidates or Job Offers with Grace

Everyone’s favorite part of the hiring process is extending an offer to a terrific candidate and taking them out for a celebratory lunch after they’ve accepted. It’s decidedly less fun to contact the finalists who weren’t chosen. And on the candidate’s side, turning down an offer, especially after a robust interview process, can be difficult and awkward. This article offers tips for navigating this sensitive and challenging part of hiring for both employers and candidates.

“It's hard to say no after building rapport and the beginnings of a strong working relationship,” noted Kathleen Yazbak, the founder of Viewcrest Advisors. But saying “no” well—whether you’re an employer, a search professional, or a job seeker—can make the difference between burning a bridge and laying the groundwork for future opportunities and professional relationships.

Being able to say “no” gracefully begins with good practices–on both sides–early in the recruiting process. In the process of evaluating a role, it benefits both the candidate and the employer to flag concerns early. For candidates, it is fair to raise potential deal-breakers before a second-round interview. This gives the employer an opportunity to clarify terms, discuss an aspect of the role, or simply absorb feedback or insight.

It is especially risky for a candidate to wait until the end of the process to flag serious hesitations. Yazbak shared, “Employers should get a sense of candidates’ potential deal-breakers along the way and learn about individuals’ expectations and concerns during the interview process. They, in return, should also be clear about concerns they have about candidates, especially experience gaps or other issues that might put them out of the running. This way, candidates won’t be surprised if and when they are turned down for the job.”

Karen DeMay, executive search and talent development consultant at Viewcrest Advisors, added, “There are specific questions you can ask to get these issues out in the open. Candidates can ask, ‘Are there concerns you have about me or my experience that make you question whether I’m right for the role?’ Organizations can ask, ‘Do you need any clarification about the role or what it would be like to work here? Are there any specific questions or concerns on your mind?’”

Most offers contain negotiable terms. Employers should share the salary range for the role in the first conversation with a candidate; in fact, we require clients to list the range in the position description in alignment with equitable practices and many state laws. By having this conversation early, major negotiating points should have already surfaced.

A candidate might say, “We discussed my compensation expectations and the salary range. Based on that discussion, I anticipated an offer closer to XX in your range.”

Specifics of on-site work requirements, relocation benefits, or time frames for a transition (especially if a move is required) should also be clear on both sides.

But say you’ve been open throughout the process and have nothing to negotiate, and the time comes to say no. Are there good and bad ways to decline an offer? Yazbak and DeMay say “yes” and have some practical tips for employers and individuals.

For employers turning down a candidate:

• Be timely. “It’s a big mistake to leave people hanging and not to call a candidate who has interviewed for a role to let them know they are no longer in the running,” said Yazbak. Whether you’re reaching out to first-round or final-round candidates, show respect for their time and effort by contacting them promptly.  The candidate should hear from whoever has shepherded them through the interview process, whether that’s the executive search firm, an HR manager, or the hiring manager. In early rounds, if the candidate doesn’t pick up, it is acceptable to leave a short voicemail or send them an email. However, in later stages, given the amount of investment, it’s better to have a voice-to-voice conversation.
• Be clear and concise in your explanation. “This is, of course, much easier if the reason you didn’t choose the candidate has to do with a skill or experience gap rather than a personality or ‘fit’ issue,” said DeMay. In general, she advises employers to frame the decision around the person who received the offer—for example: “Though we were impressed by your commitment to the organization and strong management background, the final candidate had significantly more experience in running multisite organizations, and that was really important to us.”
• Continue to engage your second-choice candidate. Unless you are positive you would not extend them an offer, do not turn down your second-choice candidate until your first-choice candidate accepts. Yazbak noted, “I’ve seen clients have to make a tough decision between two talented candidates. Then their first-choice hems and haws, and finally turns down an offer. Meanwhile, the second-choice candidate becomes very enthusiastic when given an offer, and the contrast makes both candidate and employer excited.”
• Let everyone know whom you selected. Share the final result with all candidates who were interviewed and anyone involved in the search, and emphasize why the new employee is a great fit. When recruiting firms lead the search, they typically email everyone involved once the results are official and call finalists personally. These are solid practices for employers to follow.

For candidates turning down an offer:

• Be gracious. When you receive an offer, express gratitude and enthusiasm before requesting a day or two to think things through.
• Be prompt. Reach out to your contact at the organization as soon as you have decided to decline the offer and within the agreed-upon time frame for making your decision.
• Communicate with the right person. Call whoever extended the offer to turn it down live. If that contact is part of Human Resources or a search firm, you might also call the hiring manager, especially if they spent significant time with you. Once the calls are made, follow up in writing.
• Be succinct. “A polite, short note should do the trick. If there was a particular sticking point, say travel or on-site expectations, express thanks for having had honest conversations about what each side could do or not do," says Yazbak. “For topics beyond, diplomacy works. You might have uncovered yellow flags in your own due diligence or come to the conclusion that, career-wise, the process has allowed you to do some soul searching, and you don't think the alignment is there."
• Reach out to those you met along the way. To maintain relationships you developed during the process, it is often a good idea to drop notes to others you got to know through the process and would like to keep in your network to express appreciation for their time and insight.

For candidates who have been turned down:

• Be mature and gracious. Your reaction to this difficult news can leave a lasting impression on the employer or search professional, so try to respond in a way that encourages them to remember you for future openings. Yazbak commented, “As search professionals, we’re always looking for good candidates and often contact short-list candidates from one search for a similar position elsewhere. However, if you handle a turn-down poorly (i.e., get angry or critical), we may question your judgment and be hesitant to reach out to you again.
• Learn from the experience. "Feedback is valuable and can help you in future interviews and in your development. However, you need to be prepared to accept the feedback graciously, even if it is difficult to receive. Also, there are times when you won't receive a lot of detail. We all know that these are competitive processes," shared DeMay.
  
  DeMay and Yazbak recall a candidate who had been a contender on one of their searches but was ultimately turned down. Her graciousness in receiving the news and the openness with which she asked for feedback impressed and strengthened her relationship with them. The following year, she accepted an offer following another search and significantly advanced her career.

Saying “no” is never easy, whether you’re delivering or receiving one at the end of an intensive search. But the manner in which you say “no” can preserve both relationships and job prospects well into the future. Keeping this perspective through a difficult conversation will not only show your professionalism but also lay a promising foundation for exciting opportunities down the road.

Strong relationships get built through search processes. We’re aware of candidates and organizations that have stayed connected even if that particular role wasn’t a match at that time.

Impact Opportunity would like to thank Kathleen Yazbak and Karen DeMay of Viewcrest Advisors for their insights and contributions to this article. We would also like to thank Emily Walsh for her contributions to this article. Emily is a writer and editor specializing in nonprofit and philanthropy management. She has edited articles published by The Bridgespan Group, the Center for Effective Philanthropy, Stanford Social Innovation Review, and Forbes.com. She is also a classically trained professional musician and small business owner.